


The Dalek Solution

by alexcat



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22824697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: The gang all wonder what they'd do if something happened to Sheldon.
Relationships: Bernadette Rostenkowski/Howard Wolowitz, Leonard Hofstadter/Penny, Sheldon Cooper/Amy Farrah Fowler
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21
Collections: Of Elves and Men





	The Dalek Solution

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me after watching Doctor Who - "Resolution". It is all in fun.

The gang was gathered in Penny and Leonard’s apartment, eating Chinese takeout, like they did every week. One of their members was missing though. Sheldon had gone back to Texas for a few days to visit his mother and mend some more fences with his brother, Georgie, at the behest of both Mary _and_ his wife, Amy. 

They’d all been watching a rerun of Doctor Who with the 13th Doctor. This particular episode dealt with the return of the Dalek, after the last one was buried secretly in separate parts in very different places in the world and guarded generation after generation to prevent its return.

“You know that’s an idea what we can do if Sheldon dies before the rest of us,” Leonard said, pointing at the television with his fork as he talked. 

Penny laughed. “You’d _have_ to bury him in separate pieces to keep him from coming back.”

“Come on, you guys,” Amy said. “You know he’s not so bad.” Amy loved her husband even though he did drive her crazy sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time.

“Ha! He doesn’t make fun of your work all the time,” Howard said. Sheldon never had a good word for engineers, seeing them as simpletons compared to his own genius. Then again, he saw almost everyone as a simpleton compared to him.

Amy looked at him for a moment before answering. “Actually he does.” 

“Not to mention poor Leonard,” Penny chimed in. 

“To be fair, he likes physics though. It’s just me who he thinks is stupid, not the subject,” Leonard explained. 

“That doesn’t make it better,” Penny told him. He shrugged.

“So what do we do?” Raj asked. 

“Well, if he dies, we’ll chop him into pieces and each one of us will bury a piece on a different continent so he can’t come back or resurrect himself until all the pieces are together,” Bernadette said, really getting into the grisliness of their idea. Somehow it didn’t sound as menacing in her sweet Minnie Mouse voice.

“His head goes to Antarctica,” Raj said. “That way, it’ll be the hardest one to find.”

They all laughed, enjoying their joke. 

“So who is going where?” Penny asked. 

“Well, let’s see – two legs, two arms, a torso and a head… and there’s six of us! Perfect!” Leonard crowed. 

“I’ll do Europe,” Penny volunteered. “Maybe throw him into that lake with that monster. Loch Ness?” 

They all agreed. 

“I’ll go to Asia,” Raj said, “since I’m kind of an Asian dude.”

“Maybe bury him in a jungle!” Penny said. 

“I’ll take him somewhere in the Congo, where there are only wild animals,” Leonard said. 

“I’ve always wanted to go to Australia,” Amy said. “I’ll take my part into the outback.”

“Well, Howie, you get the South Pole because I’m going to Rio!” Bernadette told her husband. “Besides, you’re an astronaut. You’re used to strange places.”

What could Howard do but agree? 

They were all talking about what sort of box to put him in when the laptop on the table lit up with a face they all knew and loved. 

“Oh hi, Sheldon! We were just talking about you,” Howard said with an impish grin.

“Of course you were,” Sheldon replied. “I’m the only interesting one in the group. What would you all do if something happened to me?” 

They all looked at one another then back at the screen. “Come home soon, Sheldon,” Amy told him with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> My [**Tumblr**](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexcat45).


End file.
